What I have discovered...

...is that when a review of a catwalk (why is called a catwalk actually? It's not something I've ever asked before but it suddenly seems peculiar to me!) show says that the collection is 'wearable', it really means, it's wearable if you're 6 ft tall, have killer legs, can actually walk in heels higher than half an inch, always look mean/vacant and live somewhere with no people to destory/ridicule your 'beautiful' clothing...i.e the sahara desert or space.

Honestly, I would not call this wearable. When I need clothes that look so heavy that I'd barely be able to stand up in them let alone parade around for someone to look at, I will make them myself ;)

Some of those girls look incredibly uncomfortable too, like they can barely walk, which kinda defeats the whole point of a 'catwalk'. Which by the way, I googled, just now :D

Turns out it's not the actual walking that's the catwalk, it's the raised platformy thing they walk on, like a runway or a stage (hence the terms 'runway show' and 'runway walk' also, I assume) that's just been adapted to all kinds of fashion shows. I like the alternative name wikipedia gives though, a Skywalk. That would be much, much cooler. Not least because it sounds like Skywalker.

There, I have shown you my (lack of) knowledge about fashion, although I am now well versed in the origins of the term 'catwalk'. Although I don't know why they chose cat. And not a different animal. Lionwalk would have been awesome, would have given them an actual reason to look so angry all the time. I know broody is fashion (I think...maybe? Possibly?) but sometimes broody is just downright scary, I think they're gonna walk right off those Skywalks and clobber me with their 6 inch Lobbotinny (or something) shoes.

Yes, that's right. Models scare me. No wonder I've never actually seen a fashion show...and am going off secondhand information here and therefore everything I state above should be taken with a pinch (or punch) of salt, but seriously, the pictures alone are enough to make me realise that if I did watch a fashion show, I'd spend most of the time behind the sofa sobbing something unintelligible about some dude called Jimmy who's about to Choo my head off.

To keep myself sane.

Though I admire ninjas, it's just foolish to underestimate your enemy.

Pirate all the way.

PIRATE!

*salutes*